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P. G. Wodehouse: 'The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.'

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P. G. Wodehouse: 'Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is best not to stir them.'

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P. G. Wodehouse: 'He was a tubby little chap who looked as if he had been poured into his clothes and had forgotten to say 'when!''

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P. G. Wodehouse: 'Flowers are happy things.'

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P. G. Wodehouse: 'Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.'

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P. G. Wodehouse: 'To find a man's true character, play golf with him.'

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Julian Barnes: 'Most of us remember adolescence as a kind of double negative: no longer allowed to be children, we are not yet capable of being adults.'

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Julian Barnes: 'I'm a novelist, so I can't write about ideas unless they're attached to people.'

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Julian Barnes: 'There will always be non-readers, bad readers, lazy readers - there always were.'

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Julian Barnes: 'Very few of my characters are based on people I've known. It is too constricting.'

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Julian Barnes: 'Well, to be honest I think I tell less truth when I write journalism than when I write fiction.'

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Julian Barnes: 'In 1980, I published my first novel, in the usual swirl of unjustified hope and justified anxiety.'

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Julian Barnes: 'To look at ourselves from afar, to make the subjective suddenly objective: this gives us a psychic shock.'

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Julian Barnes: 'I have an instinct for survival, for self-preservation.'

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Julian Barnes: 'As I've explained to my wife many times, you have to kill your wife or mistress to get on the front page of the papers.'

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Julian Barnes: 'Grief seems at first to destroy not just all patterns, but also to destroy a belief that a pattern exists.'

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Julian Barnes: 'Books say: she did this because. Life says: she did this. Books are where things are explained to you, life where things aren't.'

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Julian Barnes: 'All bad things are exaggerated in the middle of the night. When you lie awake, you only think of bad things.'

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Julian Barnes: 'I'm a complete democrat in terms of who buys my books.'

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Julian Barnes: 'In Britain I'm sometimes regarded as a suspiciously Europeanized writer, who has this rather dubious French influence.'

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